full heart, hollow womb

So, I came across this image on FB the other day and it instantly brought tears of anger to my eyes (for those of you who know I’m a cry baby, don’t worry, I didn’t let them fall). Seriously, this is a heartbreaking cartoon.

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I….am…..speechless b/c I know this is true and know that it happens. I am such an advocate for acknowledging and respecting children’s autonomy and protecting their little bodies and fragile psyche…I cannot, for the life of me, understand violating such a pure spirit AT ALL and especially in such a vile, disgusting way.

This is one of the reasons why I absolutely cannot have children. When I tell people that I don’t want kids, they’re automatically appalled and try to convince me otherwise and launch into this sales pitch about how amazing kids are and how rewarding it is to raise them. I KNOW. I’m just terrified that I won’t be able to protect them. So I don’t want them. That I’ll ruin them or someone else will. I’m so anxious about their hearts and minds and spirits and I just can’t do it. I know I’m fun and full of so much love and maybe even some wisdom to share, but I can’t. I worry too much as it is, and now I’m supposed to worry about the physical/mental/emotional/mental well-being of a tiny human? How is that NOT terrifying?

And let’s talk about how it’s becoming more and more difficult to trust who you can and cannot leave your kids around. Child molesters, sexual predators, rapists, murderers, etc….they don’t walk around holding a sign announcing their presence. They’re in our families, y’all. And we allow them to stay and violate our children for years. We make our children hug their rapists, completely ignoring the fact that they’re ridiculously uncomfortable with their “uncle” or whoever. Would rather protect a closeted predator from embarrassment, speculation, and being buried under the jail than accept the fact that another family member is gay. Doesn’t that just make your ass itch? We can’t even trust our own family with our children.

Knowing this, I’m always more than honored when a friend of mine chooses to extend an invitation to me for their village and to be a part of their child’s life. I love being Auntie Jo…I adore my little nieces and nephews. LOVE….THEM. My [pseudo] sister, Sherri, is giving birth to a little boy in May and I’m bouncing off the walls with excitement. I can’t wait to head back up to their city to hold little Xavier and let’s not forget playing with my super smart niece Olivia. 2 of my good friends have privately announced their pregnancies to me and I’m ecstatic. I love love love children, I just can’t see myself ever having them. For the reasons stated above as well as reasons attached to my vanity. I am happily forever Auntie and never Mommy.

I hope this all made sense. Be easy ♡

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Author:

Just over here chronicling the craziness and banalities of my everyday life. I fly, I drink, I run, I work, I laugh A LOT, I eat, I repeat. I live my life like it's golden...for the most part.

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